I want to start writing a bit about different takes on wedding traditions. I love it when my clients put their own spin on the typical wedding day events and I think it makes the day more fun and meaningful when they personalize it.
First up is the first look, which is the first time that the couple sees each other in their wedding clothes. This also ties into the processional down the aisle and the traditional bride being given away by her father.
The First Look
Many photographers try to convince their clients to do a “first look” before the wedding. Their main reasons are to have more time to spend on portraits and also to get some clear and intimate photos of the couple seeing each other for the first time that day. I think it can also reduce the nervousness many people feel about walking down that aisle in front of all their guests.
I personally love it because it allows the day to flow more naturally from the ceremony to the reception, possibly eliminating that huge gap where the guests wander aimlessly while the couple has their portraits taken. Plus, it allows the couple to enjoy more time with their guests (or spend a little time alone, with or without their photographer). Many couples will just do family photos after the ceremony and everything else before, to maximize the time with their guests.
Below are some photos from that first moment my clients saw each other before the ceremony.
I love how doing photos before the ceremony allows for more time for candid photos once the guests are present. However, I don’t try to convince my clients to do things a certain way; I want them to schedule their day in a way that best suits them. If you think seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony will have the biggest emotional impact or make the best memories for you, then do that.
The Anti-First Look
Some couples choose to forgo the first look altogether and get ready together. I think it’s a great option for any couple who wants to feel a bit more relaxed before the ceremony and also get some sweet candid photos of the two of them while they prep for the big day.
Giving the Bride Away
The traditional wedding ceremony includes the bride being walked down the aisle by her father and given away to the groom at the altar. Some couples have stepped away from this tradition for various reasons: some because the idea of the bride’s parents giving her to her husband is old fashioned or patriarchal, some because they want to include different family members in this ritual, some weddings just don’t have a bride at all, and for various other reasons.
During one of my wedding rehearsals, the officiant asked “who gives this woman to this man?” and her father stood up and said “she gives herself away,” which I thought was pretty awesome. He did still walk her down the aisle the next day. I think the ceremonies have moved to more gender neutral language now, by the way.
One of my brides chose to have her divorced mother and father walk her down the aisle, which is a great way to include both sides of a divided family. Another bride had both her birth father and adoptive father give her away. Some brides have other family members walk them down the aisle.
Walking Together
Some couples choose to walk down the aisle together if they’ve done a first look before or gotten ready together. I think this is a lovely way of showing that the day is about them as a couple and not placing such a focus on the big white dress. Plus, it’s super cute.
Here’s an example I really loved. The couple had done a first look prior to the ceremony. The bride walked down the stairs at Sea Cider to meet the groom at the bottom and then they walked down the aisle together. When they got to the front row, they hugged their immediate family members. It was the sweetest moment between the couple and their families.
I’ve also had couples approach from different directions alone and meet in the middle, each person has a friend/family member walk them down the aisle, and with very small weddings, everyone is just hanging out and then they start the ceremony when they’re ready.
I love it when people put their own spin on these traditions. Make your wedding completely your own, because it’s all about the two of you.
